Filed under: British Military Fitness | Tags: British Military Fitness, calendar, charity, Help for Heroes, video
Brilliant! Just got an email from the BritMilFit crew, telling me about its charity calendar – on sale and featuring semi-naked instructors and a job lot of baby oil, by all accounts.
It’s all in a good cause, as 100% of the proceeds will go to Help For Heroes, a charity that helps rehabililtate wounded servicemen and women.
I’ve put in my order on the strength of the “sneak preview” video below…
Filed under: British Military Fitness | Tags: British Military Fitness, fartlek, ice-cream, prospect park, strawberry split, Teddy Bear's Picnic, Tilehurst
Prospect Park.
9 November.
Around 7.50pm.
It’s cold; maybe 5°C.
The only people in the park are the BritMilFit Reading crew (soaking wet, teeth chattering after Delta/Charlie fire team drills with Tom, and it looks like we might be about to do fartlek with Dan); and some hoodies letting off dodgy fireworks. Even the dog walkers have stayed at home.
All of a sudden, out of the darkness, comes a surprising sound: a tinny “Da da da da-da-da da da daaaa…” It’s the ice-cream van, blaring out “Teddy Bear’s Picnic” as he rambles around Tilehurst. Seriously. In November? I wonder if he’s sold so much as a strawberry split since August?
Filed under: British Military Fitness | Tags: British Military Fitness, monsters, Oops Up Side Your Head
So, three British Military Fitness classes over the last few days: a rare Saturday session followed by Monday and Wednesday evenings. I seem to have brought an end to global warming with my last comment on the subject as last night was really quite chilly. The car read 9°C when I got back into it last night, but my hands felt colder. The middle finger of my left hand did that weird dying thing for about two hours afterwards, and remained completely white while the rest of my hands warmed up and turned pink again.
Still, at least the cold weather should kill off whatever little monsters bit or stung me on the back of the leg on Saturday, the after-effects of which are still driving me nuts five days later.
Other monstrous things included a repeat of Dan’s fartlek special on Monday, and all of the leopard crawling last night. Oh, and the multiple plank manoeuvres which have given me a tummy ache today. Reminds me of one morning after a wedding when all of the guests woke up with stomach pains. It wasn’t the food that affected us; it was some slightly over-enthusiastic moves to “Oops Up Side Your Head” – rather like this but with fewer props and more vigour.
Evidentally my appearance is fairly monstrous too. Instructor Harry remarked, during the water break on Saturday, that I appeared to be “leaking water.” The look on his face said: “Gosh, I thought ladies were supposed to merely glow…”
Filed under: British Military Fitness | Tags: British Military Fitness, Reading
…it had been snowing. Weird then, that I did British Military Fitness on Wednesday wearing a short-sleeved t-shirt and cropped trousers. Lovely mild night it was. It’ll be a massive shock when the weather does finally get cold. For now, I’m enjoying global warming.
The conversation turned to Christmas over a beer in the pub afterwards – must have been the influence of the Christmas tree in the porch on the way in (it’s still bloody October, whose idea was that?!) Anyway, a social of some sort is loosely planned for 11 December – if we can find somewhere in the vicinity of Reading that’ll take a large booking. Any ideas welcome!
Filed under: British Military Fitness, running, running gear | Tags: British Military Fitness, fartlek, leggings, seasons
Despite the significantly cooler temperatures and fading daylight, I’ve made it to British Military Fitness twice this week – on Monday and this evening. I couldn’t believe the difference between this week, and when I last went about four weeks ago: it was as dark at the start as it had been at the end of the class before.
But despite this slightly depressing trend, training outside does make you appreciate the changing seasons more than you would if your gaze sinply drifted away from inside the gym while slogging away on the treadmill. And, without trying to compete with Mr Highway Kind’s much more eloquent and philosophical musings, I like that. I fully appreciate the excitement and sense of something better to come in spring; I adore the long, warm evenings in the summer months, sweating out all the stresses of the day; I like jumping around in damp, autumn leaves; and I even get a thrill out of the looks on my colleagues’ faces when I head out of the stuffy, centrally heated office in my BMF kit for a class in the middle of winter.
In fact, I haven’t been to the gym in such a long time that I’m thinking of giving up my membership.
Both today’s session, and Monday’s session were taken by Dan. And Dan’s got some new moves…
Exhibit 1: the “tripwire” – while jogging along, Dan shouts “TRIPWIRE” and we all have to jump in the air, legs tucked underneath ourselves
Exhibit 2: the “grenade” – when Dan shouts “GRENADE” we all dive to the ground, hands over heads
Exhibit 3: the “firing of one’s partner across the grass” – where one person lays down on their back, legs bent and in the air. The second person leans back with their bum against the first person’s feet. #1 bends their legs, then straightens them – firing #2 up into the air. Most amusing, though I do think it could be improved by introducing an element of long-jump -style competition, as I’m pretty convinced long-limbed Stu might be able to fire Leigh right across the road outside the park.
Exhibit 4: the “fartlek” – possibly a contender for my least favourite exercise and one most like to make me vomit. Involves the line of lamp posts down the middle of the park – you start running at 50% of maximum ability, increase to 75% at the second lamp post, then 100% at the third, back to 50%, then 75% and 100%. After a 30-second break – you repeat the exercise…and so on. It’s HORRIBLE. Even worse than the hill runs. But it has to be good for you, right?
Oooh, and in fashion news, it would seem that lycra is the new black. Three of the chaps turned up in snug little leggings on Monday – and spent the entire class fretting about them falling down, being draughty and having a general feeling of tightness. You’ll get use to them lads – much more practical than baggies in the winter. 
One of the things I love about WordPress is all the info on stats, incoming links and search terms people have used to find your blog.
Today I had a hit from someone who searched for: “in love with british military instructor”. With respect to Steve, Johnny, Dan et al – I’m not sure why they arrived here. But isn’t it nice that the British Military Fitness crew inspire so much affection?
Filed under: British Military Fitness | Tags: British Military Fitness, Defiance, LOVEFiLM, Revolutionary Road, The Duchess, The Kite Runner, The Reader
I arrived home at the unbelievably early time of 5.30 this evening after a hilariously chaotic “speed networking” event in Bracknell (the organiser just kept apologising for the crapness of it), and wondered what to do with the extra three hours I’d acquired. I did the only sensible thing, and sprawled out on the sofa with Revolutionary Road – the book rather than the film – and finished it just now. Bliss.
A bit dark, that book. The film version is also queued up on the LOVEFiLM list. So far we’ve had The Reader, The Kite Runner, The Duchess and Defiance – thereby avoiding anything too uplifting. Revolutionary Road should be another cheery one…
Anyway, I’m not going to feel guilty about my lack of exercise tonight, having done three British Military Fitness classes in three days. Well done me. After Monday’s class, went back on Tuesday for a session with the nice new Welsh lady whose bibs smelt lovely (her Mum had washed them with fabric conditioner, which may have been a first). The class itself was a tiny bit slow – it must be difficult to pitch it right when you’ve got all three categories of people in one group, and there was also a bit of a kerfuffle when blue number 27 hurt her shoulder during the warm-up. Oh, and we all got bitten to death by mosquitoes. But it was still good to get out and run about on a beautiful evening after two new biz pitches in one day.
Last night with Hayley was a fab class. She’d had a tough day at work, but seemed cheerier by the end of the session – not sure if that was the slightly masochistic infliction of pain on all of us or the flourescent laces sported by one of the chaps.
I ache today.
Filed under: British Military Fitness, Uncategorized | Tags: British Military Fitness, prospect park, Reading
Which one do you fancy?
Hot on the heels of the new Tuesday class in Prospect Park, tonight Steve threatened promised a new Sunday class too. I was too overwhelmed by the possibility of BMF-ing it five days on the trot to digest when the Sunday class will start, but no doubt it will be well attended. Tonight there were over 45 people trotting around in the fading daylight.
I manged two out of the three weekday classes last week – the new Tuesday session with Steve, then Wednesday with Hayley. Wednesday was notable for being the wettest ever session I’ve attended – in torrential rain for the entire hour. Our dejected group was soaked to the skin and shivering by the end of it, as well as being covered in fresh grass cuttings. I practically dived into the car at the end of the class and, despite my seat cover, my car smelled slightly damp for three days. I got out of it at work the next morning in my best pitch suit with a very moist bottom, much to the confusion of my workmates.
Tonight Johnny took the greens and growing team of slightly-more-green-than-blue reds, while Steve took the blues including a number of newbies. Johnny’s warm-up was knackering in itself, then we took to the big hill – up, across the back of the pub and down the other side. Multiple times. While being heckled by small children.
At the end of the class, I stood back from the scene in the carpark as 45 be-bibbed people dived for their car keys. To the uninitiated, it must look like a cross between one of those University hall of residence traffic light parties, where your badge denotes how “up for it” you are; and some sort of bizarre outdoor swinging convention.
Filed under: British Military Fitness | Tags: British Military Fitness, Mansion House, prospect park, Reading
For those who missed the announcement on Wednesday or newbies who are interested in signing up to British Military Fitness, there will be a new class starting next week on Tuesday, 1 September at 7pm. We don’t bite – not even the instructors – so why not come along for your free trial session?
Classes now take place in Prospect Park, every Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday evening at 7pm and on Saturday morning at 9am. We meet in the car park, and are easily identifiable by our blue, red and green bibs and instructors wearing camouflage trousers.
We’ve also instigated a monthly social at the pub, which takes place on the final Wednesday of every month (after the fitness assessment) at The Mansion House pub inside the park.
Check out all of my posts about BMF classes by clicking here.
Filed under: British Military Fitness, running gear | Tags: Big Ears, British Military Fitness, kitlist, winter
This may be an odd subject for a blog during August, but bear with me. I was thinking back to the cold, dark nights of midwinter for three reasons during a British Military Fitness class this evening. Firstly, I was talking to a fellow BMF-er who’s been coming for a few months, who was asking what the class is like in the winter; secondly, I was talking to someone else who was attending their second session after coming along for the first time on Monday, so I was thinking back to My First Time; and thirdly, Hayley the instructor said we’d done “really well tonight, considering the weather isn’t great”.
Sorry? It was still 21ºC when I got in the car afterwards. And I was wearing a vest. That was soaked with sweat. Granted, there were a few mossies doing that erratic flying thing they do when they sniff sweat and blood, but it was still infinitely more pleasurable than BMF on a dark December night. So, for those who have yet to experience this delightful scenario, I’m publishing my winter kitlist.
British Military Fitness in winter – what to bring with you:
- A sense of humour. Seriously. You need a good one in order to do press-ups when it’s snowing and leopard-crawl in torrential rain.
- Grippy shoes. I fell over several times during my first few classes on slippy wet grass, but I’m confident my Inov8 shoes will see me through the winter months.
- Black socks – if, like me, you’re rather fussy about whites being white. Mine are USA Pro ones.
- Running tights – a must if you want to avoid the ankle-flapping caused by jogging bottoms becoming soaking wet.
- A close-fitting and (listen up ladies) longer-length top – ideally one that’s fleecy on the inside. You really want a warm layer, with no draughts around the midriff area. Mine’s a Craft one.
- Lightweight jacket – to keep out the wind. An old running one is ideal. Don’t be tempted to invest in anything too pretty or expensive.
- Gloves – to protect your hands and retain some circulation in your fingers. It’s surprising how painful it is doing press-ups on frozen ground.
- Hat – to keep your extremities warm. Particularly if your Dad is nicknamed Big Ears and you didn’ take after your Mum.
- A seat cover for the car, to stop it from getting covered in mud when you clamber back into it after the class. About a tenner from Halfords – for something along the lines of this.
Brrr – makes me shiver just thinking about it. Having written this, I’m going to appreciate every single summer class a whole lot more.
